The first step in solving the problem is realizing a problem exists. So if you know their solidated and your loosing your self. You have your answer. "Find yourself"
What if the self is shattered, broken? And say i find the pieces and mend it all again, How do i make sure that i wont lose the self again?
Keep good people around and close
What if the good ones caused the harm? ... and are cowards good-for-nothing-but-babbling? Now don't say keep the bad ones around and close!
If their blabbing cowards they weren't the good ones
Just remember that you are bigger than the problem and Allah doesn't test you beyond your potential to withstand. By continuing to be in a state of hurt and self-loss one tends to punish oneself and nothing else.
Syra, it's about something/someone constantly stimulating that state for you.
the maxim you stated is quite often true. "The best way to get rid of them is to remind yourself of who you are!"the success of this methodology is hinged critically on the assumption that you had made a mistake in relating to them in the first place. through self-reflection one can identify this mistake and drop it like a bad habit.in my personal opinion, however, 'riddance' (i think one is truly looking for peace but peace appears to be attainable only through riddance. reminds me of the candle problem) is often achievable only by looking at the situation from a different perspective. in fact, ridding oneself of 'them' will prove to be difficult, impossible even, if we try to force their reality into the mold of an easily discarded memory (just as mulla nasruddin here is finding it impossible to locate his lost keys). wise people have noted that 'you cannot give what you do not have'. moreover, you cannot lose a painful memory if the memory in question is not associated only with pain.our attempts to estrange ourselves from them may be failing precisely because they are genuinely familiar and deeply compatible. in such a case no amount of reckoning and reflection, of one's true self or the other's faults, is going to make them disappear. contemplation may only serve to remind us of further points of concordance, of how things could have been, that will leave us feeling even more miserable for our loss. clearly their cowardliness provides but an insufficient rationale to dismiss their memory. one will have to address the complex reality of their experience in totality to settle the issue.
So we wait and let it be!
we can view abstinence as doing nothing but it would be a very active nothing. and what better time than ramadan to remind us of this :)there is some reality buried in the myths surrounding quicksand. quicksand doesn't kill but it is true that to become unstuck from it one should remain calm and resist the urge to push against it. in fact, if we are patient then with time water seeps slowly back into the sand, making it more fluid, releasing the grip of the sand on our body allowing us naturally float out of the mess because of our lower density.on the other hand, if we struggle and instead follow our instincts in pushing against the quicksand we manage only to compress the water out of the sand making it more dense and less fluid. not only will the effort wear us out physically, it will drain us mentally, prolong the anguish which could have been altogether avoided, until we are too tired or too hopeless to struggle, ironically resulting in our release.it is our natural tendency when seeking riddance to blame and vilify. the strain of this effort is what takes a toll on us. a conscious effort is required to guard against this inclination.
Agreed! :)You let it be and keep reminding yourself of who you are in that quicksand!
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